So I just returned, triumphant, from my first appointment with a mental health professional. I think it went well, so well, in fact, I am seeing him again next week. Obviously, with it being our first session, we couldn't get into it too much, but I think we have laid a solid foundation upon which I will stand taller with less reliance on food or sex or other dubious means of outside validation.
He mentioned a book that speaks to the common plight of the gay man, called The Velvet Rage I believe. The crux of it is that as young strait boys, those things which interest them, e.g., sports, girls, etc, are validated by society, but those things which interest young burgeoning homosexuals are not in fact validated society. Thus we fanny bandits spend the rest of our lives seeking validation through other means: becoming the "good son," accumulating lots of things, or achieving body perfection. Ever wonder why gay men typically have better bodies? Question answered.
We also talked about how I like to play my emotional cards close to the vest-- and the problems associated therewith-- and that I shudder at the idea that people find out how insecure and sensitive I am and that I have ::GASP:: emotions like another regular person. Of course, I insist that that is just a dirty, nasty rumor and that those spreading cease and desist the dissemination of said rumor immediately.
Thus hopefully today begins a new journey into something so far unachieved by yours truly: mental health. Or at least more ups then downs. Maybe I won't have to marry Frank Kennedy after all...
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